ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS

“MORE WATER TO TABLE SEVEN, LISA.”

“REMEMBER TO SMILE, LISA.”

“NEED WE REMIND YOU THAT THIS IS A NATIONALLY RENOWNED BAR AND GRILL FRANCHISE, LISA?”

DON’T TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB. YOU FUCKING SUITS HAVE NEVER WAITED A TABLE A DAY IN YOUR LIVES. IF THIS PLACE IS SO RENOWNED WHY DOESN’T ANYONE IN THE KITCHEN SPEAK ENGLISH? OH, BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL MEXICAN AND YOU’RE PAYING THEM NEXT TO NOTHING WHILE YOU VOTE FOR THE SAME ASSHOLES WHO ARE TRYING TO CLOSE THE BORDERS?

WHY AM I MAKING $3.85 AN HOUR AND GETTING STIFFED BY TABLES FULL OF INVESTMENT BANKERS?

PEOPLE ARE WORRIED ABOUT DIPSHIT REPUBLICANS REPEALING MINIMUM WAGE? TRY WORKING IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRY AND HAVING TO CLAIM 85% OF YOUR TIPS BECAUSE NOBODY CARRIES CASH ANYMORE. THIS IS BASICALLY INDENTURED SERVITUDE. 

I SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN COSMETOLOGY SCHOOL.