ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS

… AND THAT’S WHY I THINK RICK PERRY IS THE RIGHT MAN FOR THE JOB. I MEAN, THIS IS ONE NATION UNDER GOD, RIGHT? YOU HAVE TO LET THE KIDS HAVE CHRISTMAS BECAUSE WITHOUT IT THEY’LL GET ALL KIND OF PAGAN IDEAS AND GO GAY AND JOIN THE ARMY AND THEN THE ARMY WILL BE ALL GAY AND HOW’S THAT GOING TO DEFEAT THE MIDDLE EAST, HUH? IT WON’T, THAT’S HOW. ONLY GOD CAN DO THAT. THAT’S WHY HE MADE AMERICA. TO PROTECT OUR FREEDOM. SPEAKING OF FREEDOM, I WAS AT COSTCO THE OTHER DAY TRYING TO BUY A PLASMA TV AND THEY TRIED TO TELL ME I COULDN’T PARK IN THE HANDICAPPED SPOT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS EMPTY AND I WAS LIKE, LISTEN, DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO EVEN GET A TRUCK THIS SIZE THROUGH THE PARKING LOT, LET ALONE SQUEEZE IT IN BETWEEN A COUPLE FOREIGN HUNKS OF JUNK? THAT’S WHY WE NEED TO BUILD THAT FENCE ALONG THE BORDER. SEE, WHAT YOU KIDS AND LIBERALS DON’T UNDERSTAND IS HOW THE WORLD WORKS. I BLAME THE TEACHERS. THEY WANT ALL SUMMER OFF LIKE THE REST OF US DON’T HAVE TO WORK ALL YEAR ‘ROUND AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENS …