ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS

This is the last video, barring some sort of crazy emergency, that I will bother you with all year (that year being 2012, which just started). I just wanted to say happy half-anniversary to us, because we’re pretty great together.

… of course it’s a rambling, idiotic, 6 minute ‘happy half-anniversary’ full of cussing, but that’s because I’ve had a bottle of wine and I never learned to control my potty mouth.

To everyone I’ve spoken with via this fine internet outlet, and to the people who submitted the majority of these fine photos, and also to those of you whose comments on these things make me choke on my coffee with laughter daily … thank you. You’re pretty damned wonderful. I wish I could kiss you all in your respective bathing suit areas.*

To my haaaaaterrrzzzz … lighten up, people. Go outside. Have a Coca Cola.

Happy New Year and stuff. I hope it’s treating you all as well as it’s treating me.

You look good as hell today. Go show everyone how good you look.

*unless you’re like … 16, in which case I never said that and I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone I did, especially the police.