GREETINGS, DENIZENS OF THE DEEP! MY NAME IS CHIP WIGGLESWORTH AND I AM A STRANGER IN THESE LANDS! OR IS IT WATERS? WATERS! I AM A STRANGER IN THESE WATERS! IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE TO FROLIC BENEATH THE WAVES FOR A BRIEF TIME, BUT ONLY WITH YOUR KIND PERMISSION!
I’M GOING TO WARN YOU AHEAD OF TIME, I SHED LIKE A DANDELION AND MY BLADDER HASN’T BEEN THE SAME SINCE I CHEWED THROUGH THAT EXTENSION CORD LAST YEAR!
IT HAS JUST OCCURRED TO ME THAT YOU PROBABLY DON’T KNOW WHAT DANDELIONS OR EXTENSION CORDS ARE, AND ALSO THAT I DON’T REALLY KNOW HOW SOUND WAVES WORK UNDERWATER! I MIGHT NOT NEED TO BE YELLING! I APOLOGIZE! I CAN’T SEEM TO STOP MYSELF!
oh i just died right now
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