ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS

YOU HEAR YEASAYER’S GOT A NEW RECORD COMING OUT?

I GUESS I HEARD THAT SOMEWHERE, YEAH.

I MIGHT CHECK IT OUT.

I DON’T KNOW, MAN. I REALLY ONLY LIKED THEIR LIVE PERFORMANCES FOR A SPECIFIC TWELVE MINUTE SPAN BETWEEN THE RELEASE OF THEIR DEBUT RECORD AND THE FIRST TIME IT WAS REVIEWED BY AN OBSCURE WEBSITE.

I REALLY ONLY LIKED THE INDIVIDUAL MEMBERS’ ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BAND PERFORMANCES.

IF WE’RE BEING HONEST I ONLY LIKED THEM WHEN THEY WERE, RESPECTIVELY, IN UTERO.

I DON’T EVEN LIKE THEIR MUSIC. I ONLY PRETEND TO SO I HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT WITH THE BARISTAS THAT SERVE ME MY MORNING MACCHIATO.

I DISLIKED YEASAYER BEFORE THEY WERE BORN.

I FUCKING HATE THAT BAND.

I ONLY LISTEN TO THE SOUND OF RUST FORMING ON THE UNDERCARRIAGES OF NORWEGIAN LUXURY SEDANS.

I HAVE A VINTAGE RECORDABLE 90 MINUTE MAXELL CASSETTE TAPE THAT’S  JUST THE SOUND OF A VACUUM CLEANER LEFT ON IN AN EMPTY APARTMENT. IT’S MY FAVORITE RECORD.

THAT SOUNDS AWESOME.

IT ISN’T NOW THAT YOU SAID THAT.