ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS

I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, TODD, IS THIS 1950? ARE YOU MY DAD? HAVE I BEEN DATING MY DAD FROM 1950 THIS WHOLE TIME? BECAUSE THAT’S REALLY GROSS, BUT ALSO AMAZING SINCE EVERYONE THINKS TIME TRAVEL IS IMPOSSIBLE.

I AM GOING TO GO DANCING WITH MY FRIENDS, AT A DANCE CLUB, WHICH IS A CLUB DESIGNED FOR DANCING. YOU’RE NOT INVITED BECAUSE NOBODY’S BOYFRIEND IS INVITED, ON PURPOSE, BECAUSE IT’S A GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT. IF YOU THINK I CAN’T MANAGE THAT WITHOUT OPENING MY BROOD POUCH FOR SOME STRANGER THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T BE DATING SUCH A MASSIVE SLUT, AND YOU’RE MORE THAN WELCOME TO MOVE OUT. OTHERWISE YOU CAN TRY ACTING LIKE A MATURE ADULT AND TELL ME YOU HOPE I HAVE A GOOD NIGHT AND THAT YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR ME TO GET HOME.