ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS

SORRY I COULDN’T BRAID YOUR HAIR, EMILY. NO OPPOSABLE THUMBS.

It’s okay, I like talking to you more than I like playing salon. You’re really smart, plus you ate Cindy Meyers for me.

SHE ASKED JIMMY TO THE DANCE WHEN SHE KNEW YOU LIKED HIM. I DID WHAT ANY FRIEND WOULD DO.

She was a total B-I-T-C-H.

THAT SPELLS BITCH! 

I know. I’m really good at spelling. So is Jimmy. 

YOU TWO ARE GOING TO BE SO HAPPY TOGETHER.

We are now that Cindy Meyers is gone.