THEN MY WIFE’S LIKE, “RICK, I THINK THE MAGIC’S GONE,” LIKE THERE’S ANYTHING I CAN SAY IN RESPONSE TO THAT, SO SHE’S PROBABLY GONNA DIVORCE ME SOON. I BUST MY HUMP FORTY, FIFTY HOURS A WEEK. I GOT AN ULCER. WHO’S GOT TIME TO MAINTAIN “THE MAGIC” RIGHT? MAKES ME WISH I HADN’T SPENT SO MUCH MONEY REBUILDING THE NEST, THOUGH. AND THE TIMING! THE KIDS ARE ALMOST IN COLLEGE. I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO HAVING A LITTLE PEACE AND QUIET AROUND THE PLACE. A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP, MAYBE. IT’S WORTH THE TUITION JUST TO BE ABLE TO PUT MY TAIL UP AND HAVE SOME SEEDS AFTER WORK, BUT IF MAGGIE’S GONNA SPLIT WITH MY SAVINGS I CAN JUST KISS THAT DAYDREAM GOODBYE. SHE’LL GET THE WHOLE TREE AND I’LL END UP LIVING IN A BUSH DOWN BY THE FREEWAY, KICKING HALF MY PAYCHECKS TO THE UNIVERSITY OR THE MORTGAGE. IT’S NOTHING BUT HEADACHES, THIS WHOLE FAMILY THING. ONE AFTER THE OTHER! YOU’RE SMART TO HAVE STAYED SINGLE. I ALWAYS SAY THAT. AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WORK! I SWEAR, BETWEEN THE NEW PROJECT MANAGER AND THAT IDIOT IN TECH SUPPORT I’M ABOUT READY TO RIP MY FEATHERS OUT. IT’S TORTURE IS WHAT IT IS. DAILY TORTURE.
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